Shaving Perfection Part 5:
Post-Shave Care
Most people associate aftershave with searing pain, as above, or with desperate winos drinking Aqua Velva to get their ass lit up. It doesn’t have to be this way. Even after the best of shaves, your skin will be a little sensitive and need to heal up a bit. After all, you just got done dragging a hella-sharp knife across it -- even if there are no obvious nicks, things will be a little tender. The closer the shave, the more you risk irritation or even a minor injury. A good aftershave product will help with recovery and protection.
Shaving injuries take many forms. The most obvious are cuts or weepers (spots of slow blood, no obvious cut), which can usually be dealt with with a tiny square of toilet paper or a styptic pencil. More generalized problems can include irritation, bumps, ingrown hairs, and tender red patches known as ‘razor burn.’
The good news is that great products are to be found everywhere, and at excellent price points. Unlike blades and creams/soaps, perfectly good aftershaves can be found in the aisles of Wal Mart and Walgreens stores everywhere. There are so many, I hesitate to provide general advice. But in general, aftershaves break down into two basic categories, those with an alcohol base and those without (generally called balms). Both can be good, but are different animals. It’s not uncommon for some folks to use both.
Alcohol-Based Aftershave
Alcohol-based aftershaves use alcohol as a base, usually intended as a carrier in which oils and other skin care products are dissolved. The alcohol evaporates on the skin, leaving the beneficial substances behind, much like mouthwash. Alcohol is an outstanding solvent, but not usually present in high enough concentrations to disinfect or really do anything but deliver oils and such to the skin. These types include the above Aqua Velva, and tend to be clear liquids.
These aftershaves are often associated with a sharp sting or burning sensation when applied. Just ask Macauly Culkin. This is not entirely fair; yes, if alcohol of any sort touches any cut or damaged skin, it’ll burn like hell. Perfecty normal. But if you experience this sort of pain after a shave, especially over large patches of skin or even your entire face, it means your technique sucks. Or your equipment sucks.
Maybe both.
A sharp razor, good lather, and good technique should not damage your skin to the point that these aftershaves will sting. If they do, it’s your fault, not the aftershave's. In fact, I regard this kind of mild pain or burning as the ‘canary in the coal mine’ that I screwed something up.
Pros:
Cleanses the skin
Closes the pores, tightens the skin
Usually don’t leave the skin feeling greasy
Less used than with balms
Cons:
Some people find they dry the skin, especially in less-expensive brands. Probably due to the drying effect of evaporation, in this case the alcohol, and/or insufficient moisturizers in the formula.
Stings or burns. Nor actually a con, because it's your fault if this happens.
Usually less moisturizing and soothing than balms.
My solution to excessive drying in a product is to use more, or add a few drops of glycerin (see a local health food store) to the bottle. It will dissolve quickly and kick up moisturizing efficacy. Too much glycerin can result in tacky skin. And on the ‘cleansing’ pro point, I notice that if I skip the alcohol aftershave step, my skin tingles later in the day. I’m attributing that to possible residual shaving lather remaining on the skin. Maybe that’s valid. Maybe I’m a nutcase.
Both are equally likely.
Good Brands
Most of the basics in Wally World’s aisles work fine, though some find the scents to be heavy or cloying. I kinda like 'em. The Pinaud brand is sometimes found at Walgreens in the form of their Clubman scent, and it's a classic. There are a number of traditional brands and contemporary boutique makers available as well, often in a dizzying collection of fragrance choices. Online wetshaving vendors mentioned in earlier articles are great places to shop, and prices are usually pretty reasonable. Barber Supply websites are also good places to check. Whoever owns appletonbarbersupply.com probably had his kid put through school with the money I wasted... er... spent there.
Fair warning: aftershaves are generally inexpensive things, and the of scent and color options can conjure up the memories of the candy store opening scene in the Gene Wilder 'Willy Wonka' movie, which is for the record HANDS DOWN the superior film. Cuts right to my own childlike heart and the heart of all my fellow raccoonlike, novelty-loving creatures (also sometimes called, 'men', but not very often). If you're careless, you'll wake up one morning and discover you've accumulated a totally reasonable supply...
Cue theme music for Shave Trek II: The Wrath of Wife.
Very few of the items pictured above cost more than $5-10 a bottle, many less, a few more. One thing to be aware of is that if the word ‘menthol’ appears anywhere on the bottle, there will be a cooling effect that some people like.
And... of course... the world of wetshaving being what it is, some makers offer ridiculously expensive ‘luxury’ items. Many good colognes have aftershave variants, and traditional big-name cream and soap producers all sell their own stuff. The pricier alcohol-based aftershaves usually moisturize better and smell nicer, not the mention take a noticeably smaller amount of product compared against the drugstore brands. I’ve found Dr. Harris brand aftershaves to be great and very moisturizing, but too expensive for my wallet. I also don’t care for the scents, as their Marlboro scent smells like an ashtray. I mean, a fancy, gold-plated ashtray for Cuban cigars at some exclusive British social club, but an ashtray nonetheless. My opinion only. Badgernadblade.com has reviews out the wazoo. I personally like Taylor’s Eton College aftershave:
It’s stupid expensive, ca. $25 for 100mls, and not tons better than Aqua Velva. But I love the scent, and you really do use less product (a few drops) than the bargain brands. I’ve had mine for a couple years of intermittent use now.
You can also make your own stuff fairly easily from vodka, adding a few percent by volume of glycerin and a few drops of a topically-safe essential oil or artificial fragrance, though it’s possible not all your additives will fully dissolve due to the high water content of most vodka (around 60%). You may need to shake the bottle before each use. Witch hazel extract is a popular additive, but anything good for skin and alcohol soluble will work here.
Everclear is more a more expensive alcohol base option, but is basically pure ethyl alcohol molecules so will usually dissolve everything. A note here, though, you may want to add some water or enough other ingredients to bring the alcohol content down to reasonable levels.
Non-Alcohol Balms and other Products
Balms generally have little to no alcohol in them, and usually take the form of creams, lotions, gels, even pastes. As before, many drugstore varieties are excellent, price-conscious choices. In fact, I notice less of a performance increase in the spendier aftershave balms than anything else in shavedom. Elite stuff is almost always formulated with better ingredients and usually smell much more natural, but that’s about it. Others say there are enormous performance increases. They do perform quite well in one area --draining your bank account. Takes all kinds, I suppose.
Pros:
Better moisturizing and healing properties than alcohol-based products.
Won’t sting even if you royally screw up.
Cons:
Can leave skin greasy.
Won’t cleanse the skin of residual lather anywhere near as well as alcohol-based products.
One of my favorite products is the Nivea sensitive skin balm in the picture above. Another great inexpensive product is Corn Husker’s Lotion:
Corn Huskers is literally a couple bucks for a bottle that lasts for an eternity, at least for shaving purposes. Literally a drop or two works wonders, especially in colder weather where it dries almost like a thin protective layer, likely due to the xantham gum or whatever gum gelling agent is added. Works best for me if I apply the absolute minimum amount necessary to cover my stubble zone. It’s a perfectly good alternative the ridiculously-priced Trumper’s product called ‘Skin Food,’ a similar gelled liquid. I also got a great homemade recipe from the internet, just rosewater thickened with a bit of xantham gum. Really great at curbing irritation, and pretty damn cheap.
Pricier brands are rampant as well. I’ve tried precious few, but received Truefitt & Hill’s ‘West Indian Limes’ balm once as a gift:
Smelled fantastic, worked great. But I’m a musician, and my wife teaches school. I have trouble justifying spending my money on this stuff when a couple bucks gets great stuff at Target.
I CUT MYSELF! ALERT TED KOPPEL!!
There are other items to assist you if you've injure yourself shaving, the most common of which is a styptic pencil or alum block:
This little doodad is for minor nicks where blood is making an appearance. It won’t stop a real cut from a straight razor, rather is for little nicks and weepers. Wet the end, shake dry, and press on the spot of blood for a few seconds. A little sting is normal. You’ll want to check things later, as it can dry to a whitish spot on your face, but by that point you can just rub a wet fingertip across it and it’ll wipe away. Other options for nicks include the classic bit of toilet paper, or an alum block which is wiped over the face. I don’t like either of these two methods, but YMMV.
Some folks use a skin toner like witch hazel or a hydrosol as a part of or in place of other aftershave products. Whatever. If you’re prone to ingrown hairs (usually a shaving technique problem, but not always) or bumps on the skin, there are products for these as well.
If you're worried you'll cut yourself and want to keep from bleeding on nice carpet or whatever, there is prophylactic product available from dental supply houses:
Source: Bloom County.
I jest. But in a real emergency? Well, get a first aid kit or head to the hospital. My brother, owner of this site, once accidentally slashed his finger to the bone changing the blade on his shavette. Apparently found out from the ER nurse that the only difference between regular superglue and it's medical-grade counterpart is that the latter is purple and cost $700.
Sourcing aftershaves
All the usual places, this time including Wal Mart and Walgreens. Walgreens especially is prone to stocking one or two classic products, most likely Pinaud’s Clubman aftershave. Also, barber supply companies tend to stock hard-to-find items that were once very popular. As previously stated, I have spent an embarrassing amount of money at appletonbarbersupply.com ("Hi, my name is John, and..."). Good company, good prices, good service. There are, of course, other companies. If they’ll sell you a barber’s pole, they probably stock traditional aftershaves as well.
If you want to sample high-end products, traditional wetshaving vendors are usually your only recourse, places like qedusa.com, classicshaving.com, etc.
* * *
The arena of aftershaves really is the exception to the rules of quality in wetshaving, in that there are great products to be found everywhere at all points of the price spectrum and from most any producer from Gillette down to local boutique businesses. It’s one of the few areas where expense is truly no indicator of relative quality. Cheap stuff usually works just fine, and some is superlative, especially with an addition of glycerin to alcohol-based products. There are an insane variety of these inexpensive products from the likes of Pinaud, Aqua Velva, Brut, Gabels, Lucky Tiger, Master, etc. You can even mix up simple products yourself that rival anything on the shelves.
Most people use some sort of post-shave liquid to help them recover, and it is highly advisable for novice wetshavers having to learn real razor techniques for the first time. Balms are normally advised, as your budding technique will leave you a little raw the first few times, and alcohol-based stuff will feel like napalm. I usually just stick to an alcohol-based products, but sometimes add a balm if I’ve butchered myself.
Unlike the previous two posts, I have deliberately not made specific recommendations in any great depth, just listed a few products I like. This is because there are so many great products out there, it’s almost hard to go wrong. Your tastes and needs will determine more what you select than anything else, and prices on the low end are so reasonable it’s just a few bucks to experiment.
I will, however, make one recommendation regarding one product you should NOT purchase: perhaps the most controversial product in all of shavedom, Pinaud’s ‘Lilac Vegetal’ aftershave.
A very small minority love this stuff. LOVE IT. Most everyone else absolutely loath this ode to the feline digestive system, probably because we do not currently have malignant tumors gallivanting wildly about in our forebrain. Lilac Vegetal has inexplicably lingered on drugstore shelves into recent memory alongside the company’s excellent ‘Clubman’ scent. This is even less understandable given the company’s excellent selection of other aftershave scents which are to be found online only. Perhaps it’s like Cilantro, where some folks are genetically predisposed to smell this differently than anyone else. Perhaps it’s what fans assert, that the stuff used to better, or that it was better in the old glass bottles and is somehow ‘reacting’ with the newer plastic bottles.
Take my word for it: this stuff is revolting. I hate to swear so baldy, but the English language leaves me no alternative: It smells of rotten, foetid fucking CATPISS. I’m not exaggerating, and have smelled better odors in garbage dumps. The fumes are probably carcinogenic, and hospitals could use it neat to sterilize surgical tools. AVOID AT ALL COSTS.
Naturally, everyone will flock to buy it to see if it’s as bad as I think it is. Perhaps the lingering controversy is part of its sales success.
But apart from the red-headed stepchild of the Pianud family, enjoy the universe of aftershaves!