Part 2: Sharp Things
There’s something so beautiful about holding a fine blade to your throat first thing in the morning, groggy and half asleep, with naught but the keenness of your mind standing between the laser-sharp edge and an untimely death.
It’s only my opinion, but a man should know how to wield a blade against his face. He may ultimately choose other methods regarding removal/shaping of his facial hair, but a basic knowledge and skill of real shaving with REAL knives should be available on command should circumstances call for it. Like any endeavor, if it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well. If nothing else, think how badass it’ll be when you get to teach your son.
I’ll preface this article by reminding you that obviously, you can do as you please. I have my opinions. And you have yours. Inform thyself, and then proceed as your judgement dictates.
The current state of affairs
We need not mutilate our faces in the manner of the ancient Celts, repeatedly slashing and carving away at their flesh to transform the human face into a horrifying, follicle-less mass of scar tissue to avoid growing beards. But presented with today’s mainstream shaving choices, one is tempted to explore this primeval custom with gusto -- though sadly, not with said modern equipment.
The most popular razors here in the U.S. tend to be brightly colored, plastic, fifteen-bladed monstrosities that look like rocket ships. And have a rotating ball joint like a Dyson vacuum. And vibrate like... well, never mind. Then there are electric razors, tools of the Dark Lord himself designed to frustrate and enrage even the most patient and peaceful of souls. Both are sad, cheap, mass-produced summations of an aeons-long tradition of men’s shaving. They lack all the utility and simple art of the fine tools of past ages (even the mass-produced ones), and are more suited to use by those with masochistic tendencies. It’s almost as if their bright, shiny exteriors cloak some unnamable evil lurking beneath...
“I thought I would assume a pleasing shape.”
They are also quite useless in adjusting to personal idiosyncrasies, as most adjust independently of the handle to ‘follow the contours of your face’. This is actually not desirable, and is bullshit marketing. Hair of various coarseness, growing direction, and growth angle will require different blade angles to achieve maximum closeness and comfort. The true reason behind these floating-head abominations is to ensure the average moron won’t totally slice up their face if they aren’t paying attention, say because they feel the need to be watching the latest episode of Dr. Phil to discover "So how's that working out... for you?"
Eight thousand years ago, around my fifteenth birthday, a major shaving company sent me, unbidden, a FREE RAZOR! Who doesn’t love free stuff!?!? Well, as we all know, if it’s too good to be true, it probably is. Free is never really free. So what is, in reality, the appearance of such a gift ? Well...
Don’t be a total dumbass like I was for years and years. It’s not a free razor, it’s a sharp-ass fishing hook they’re using to try and spear your mouth so they can reel you into their brand prison. You’re being ‘gifted’ the opportunity to buy their replacement blade cartridges at inflated prices for several decades.
Make your own decisions. Imagine your perfect razor, then seek out a product that produces the desired results. If it’s a Mach-18 vibrating cartridge razor, bully for you. If you’re happy, I’m happy. But even in this case, said cartridge razors have two important problems:
Said replacement blades are laughably expensive.
2. Said replacement blades are an environmental nightmare.
Look, there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with plastic, but for the fact that it degrades in the environment on what is for all intents and purposes a geologic time scale. It will be with us in our landfills slightly longer than our ultimate wait for “Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money.” A very long time indeed. And those complicated little twelve-bladed heads cost oceans of money that most of us would rather spend on My Little Pony bed sheets and Batman suppositories. Or maybe that's just me...?
Tools for doofuses (doofi...?)
The real indignity of modern razors, electric or otherwise, is that these tools are designed to be literally idiot proof. A monkey at the zoo could shave his ass with one and get a passable result without losing medically-relevant quantities of skin or blood. They give a basic, rudimentary shave while demanding NO SKILL OR THOUGHT WHATSOEVER. I don’t know many people who take pleasure in using idiot-proof products for reasons I would think are obvious. They may feel like you’re trying to sandpaper your stubble off, but they do get something resembling 'the job' done. And if you like them? Then congratulations on setting for the most expensive and environmentally-UNfriendly way to shave. Well, except for perhaps training special sharks to shave you with frickin’ laser beams on their heads...
Good news though!
If modern razors don’t work for you, you want to investigate tools that may work better for you, or you just want a less-expensive shave? There are some classic razor designs that offer excellent shaves: double edge (DE) safety razors and straight razors. There are modern makers of these traditional tools, and vintage can be used as well -- surprisingly inexpensively, too, as quality and craftsmanship were at the forefront.
Option one: The Double Edge Safety Razor
Introduced in 1901, the DE razor trumpeted the death knell of the straight razor, oddly for many of the same convenience-and-screw-you-by-selling-you-replacement-blades reasons I gave for modern razors. But a good DE razor paired with a good blade (and a skilled user) produces a great shave at a stupidly low price.
This item is rather amusingly named, as you are still able to injure yourself with a ‘safety’ razor. Still, they are worlds safer than straight razors, and hardly more dangerous than cartridge razors. DE razors come in endless variants, most common the ‘butterfly’ style (above) that opens up to change blades, but also common in screw-together types. There are also old single-edge blade razors available, though I have not explored those options. Whatever you choose, it'll be virtually indestructible, an all-metal tank that will survive most any abuse. In any way you choose to measure it, a DE razor is hands-down less expensive than any cartridge, disposable, or electric razor, and for most folks will give a superior shave to any of the above once skills are mastered and appropriate care is paid. And not much is required of either.
If you’re not sure you want to go down this road, buy yourself a bag of cheap Bic Sensitive disposable razors. The blades are actually kinda sharp...ish, though I find they don’t last anywhere near as long as a good DE blade. But you do have control over the blade angle, unlike a cartridge razor head, and a degree of skill is required in its handling or you’ll get irritation and maybe cuts.
Pros:
Inexpensive blades, literally pennies each versus several dollars for cartridge blades.
Good brands of blades are MUCH sharper than any cartridge blades
All-metal construction, and blades are single pieces of very thin, sharpened metal. Both will rusts away relatively quickly in landfills.
Once mastered, delivers high-quality, consistent shaves.
Variable blade angle for customized shave
Very low maintenance.
Injury potential substantially lower than with straight razors.
Less prone to clogging than cartridges.
Cons:
Not as badass as a real straight razor.
Less versatile and customizable tool than a straight.
No additional, unless you count ‘learning curve’ and ‘have to pay attention’ as cons. In which case, since you're already giving up at life you might as well change your shampoo to one as equally idiot-proof.
Sourcing DE razors
New: Merkur is a reliable and reasonably-priced modern maker of DE razors, though their blades are near-universally reviled. There are other good producers of modern DE producers in business, even a Kickstarter I saw a recently (2016). The internet is your friend, and any shaving website worth its salt will offer an array of razors. $20 would be a good low-end price for a basic model. Qedusa.com and westcoastshaving.com are stores I have used and would happily use again. Badgerandblade.com is an excellent shaving forum that will teach you more than you ever wanted to know.
Used: Vintage Gillette razors are often found in antique/junk shops for just a few bucks. Used equipment needs to be THOROUGHLY cleaned and disinfected for reasons that will become obvious when you shop for them. In a word though? GROSS. As they are all metal, you can even boil them, though some in the wetshaving community strongly disapprove of that method.
Sourcing DE blades
DE blades are the other half of the equation. Craptastic options are often sold in supermarkets and drug stores. They are shit. DO NOT BUY THESE unless you wish to drink from the pain fountain. They are shoddily made and badly sharpened. I mean, use them if you want to try them out, but honestly?
Abandon all hope, yea who shaves with these!!!
Good DE blades usually have to be ordered from the internet, and even Amazon has good brands available. As I said earlier, I’ve used qedusa.com and westcoastshaving.com, among others, and found them fair and reliable internet vendors. The website badgerandblade.com is a phenomenal resource for the anyone curious about traditional shaving products and techniques. Reputable brands include Derby, Feather, Crystal, though there are plenty more. The blades often come in little plastic five- or ten-count containers, though bulk purchases makes a lot of sense as prices drop.
If you’re looking for beginner’s advice, try Derby. These offer nice middle-of-the-road performance for newbies., as they are pretty forgiving. Alternatively, westcoastshaving.com offers a variety of blade sample packs which allow you to experiment without making a bulk purchase. I would avoid Feather blades until you build some skill with your razor, as they are sharp as hell and prone to nick the less experienced. For the experienced shaver, though, some find them superlative and without peer. Behold, the mighty ‘Feather’ blade:
Why bother at all?!?!
You’re probably wondering why you should waste your time scouring the internet and waiting for UPS to deliver. The short answer is that metal quality and sharpness tend to be higher, but don’t take my word for it. A picture is worth a thousand words, and microscopes tell the best story.
Here’s a Gillette Fusion blade magnified a hundred times or so. I'm guessing here, as the gizmodo article was not kind enough to give precise magnifications. Even at this level, notice the unevenness of the cutting edge. It may LOOK fine if you've never seen a razor under the microscope before, but you're about to change your mind. For reference, the average human hair is about 100 microns, the length of the green line. Keep this scale in mind...
This is the quality of sharpness you’ll find on most blades in the Wal Mart shaving aisle. You get up to five of these suckers crammed into razor cartridges, so this snaggletoothed monster of the deep will get five cracks at your flesh with each stroke of the razor. I've always found these to give rough, uncomfortable shaves.
On the other hand, here’s a Feather brand DE blade (similar to earlier photo) magnified 239 and 595 times, respectively, under a scanning electron microscope (SEM). The second magnification is at least FOUR TIMES higher than that of the Gillette blade above.
And just for funsies, here's a Feather blade at 2300x and 4700x.
That’s not even funny. Honestly, I feel bad staring without having paid for a ticket. The Feather is vastly sharper and smoother at the point of attack, while the Fusion blade looks like it’s about to have your face for dinner... not unlike our ‘guest lecturer’ from Part One of this series. I'd love to post a side-by-side SEM image of the Feather with one of the Gillette Fusion blades. Sadly, no one's done a scan of the Fusion that I can find, and gosh-dang-diddly-darn, I'm all out of SEM time down at the local 7-11.
On the price front? A quick Amazon search reveals that a single Gillette replacement cartridge costs $2.77 each when bought in bulk, while a single Feather blade costs about $0.29 per blade in a pack of 50. And though the Fusion has 5 blades per cartridge, in my experience, a random DE blade usually lasts about as long as a single cartridge. Yes, prices fluctuate and various companies offer less expensive generic cartridges, but keep in mind the Feather is an ‘expensive’ DE blade. The Derby blade I mentioned above goes for about 8.3 cents a blade on Amazon in a pack of 100.
Oh and that Derby blade...? I find them rather workaday, fine but ordinary. Here’s one magnified at 119x and 588x...
Totally eats that Fusion blade for breakfast. Now, microscopic imagery only tells half the story. Blade coatings, steel quality, honing methods, etc. all contribute to how a blade feels against your face, and that same blade could feel very different to someone else. I feel pretty certain some combination of these factors contributes to the better longevity of DE blades, but I can't be sure. Needless to say, the two blades of a double-edged razor blade seem to last at least as long for me as any five-bladed cartridge.
Let’s also not forget that the DE blades will biodegrade, rusting quickly away into the environment. Cartridge blades, on the other hand, contain plastic and will last until the Rapture. Not to get lazy and recycle an image in the very same article, but...
CHECKMATE, CARTRIDGE RAZORS!!!!!
Option Two: The Straight Razor
The straight razor is the ultimate expression of the shaving blade. Descended from Viking spears and swords (I mean, probably?), it’s a thinly-veiled weapon tamed for civilian use. Maintained in top-notch fighting trim, it is unparallelled in perfection -- sharp and smooth cutting, reliable and versatile. Every man should spend a month or two with a straight at least once in his life, just to have the experience.
Pros:
Superlative shave potential once mastered.
Cons:
Must be comfortable with hordes of women throwing themselves at you because you are awesome.
Although there are shortcuts, much higher initial investment cost (razor, strop, etc).
Injury potential much higher. Handled competently, minimal risk.
Much steeper learning curve, and trickier to maintain equipment in top condition (See shampoo recommendation above if this concerns you).
Mastering the straight means building a formidable skill set, as well as exercising laser-like concentration while deploying it for use. Mistakes are punished, and you will cut yourself as you learn, but concentration and skill are rewarded. Just to give you an idea of the powers with which you are playing, here is the edge of a straight razor at 3,000x, 800x, and 750x respectively. For the record, this is a blade that contains honing imperfections, plainly visible... yet this level of sharpness has been achieved by human hands, unlike cartridge and DE blades, which are honed by machine. Astounding achievement. Feel free to compare it with the above pics. And remember, the average human hair is about 100 microns, or TEN TIMES as wide as the ‘10 microns’ reference lines on the right side of the three images below.
If it helps to visualize the scale on which we're viewing, here's an SEM image of a red blood cell perched on the head of a pin. That cute little rascal is about 7-8 microns wide, or just slightly shorter than the 10 micron lines in the above image. You could quite literally use that straight razor's edge to scrape individual blood cells off your face after some cartridge razor allows them out to play.
“Care and feeding’ need to be taking into consideration, too. These razors are made of old-fashioned carbon steel, which will rust if allowed to sit wet... or exposed to the atmosphere... They must be carefully handled, properly maintained, and kept scrupulously dry and oiled.
You will need to buy, at a bare minimum, a leather strop to set the edge before each use. Such fine edges are extremely fragile, and literally get pushed out of position during the course of a normal shave. You may also wish to buy stones and strops for sharpening, but unless you are excellent in such matters (or are prepared for yet another learning curve), I think such tasks are better left to a professional.
Sourcing straight razors
If buying new, Dovo and Thiers Issard are reputable modern brands, though by no means the only ones. Expect to spend over $100 at a bare minimum. Under no circumstances should you purchase a stainless steel razor. Stainless is great for kitchen knives (actually, it’s totally not, but that’s another post), but completely inappropriate for shaving. It's harder to sharpen and takes a less-fine edge. Razors made in Pakistan are frequently to be seen on ebay for cheap, but the general consensus is that these are not going to work well for anyone.
Used razors can be found for a song if you’re lucky, but finding one in restorable condition is a dicey endeavor. My advice on this front is: DON’T. And especially not on Ebay. But if you must, look for one with a perfectly straight edge and spine in all three axes. Blades stamped ‘Sheffield’ or ‘Solingen’ are generally going to be good, but one never knows until the sharpening begins if you’ve chosen wisely. Visibly warped edges or edges with even the tiniest of chips or flecks of rust or black corrosion are usually not correctable by laymen (you and me). Pros can deal with certain imperfections, but it’s almost impossible for the non-pro to tell if the problems are manageable. If you go vintage, restored razors from professionals are a good--though rarely inexpensive--option.
This sounds like an ass-ton of trouble.
It may well be. A good compromise between DE razors and straight razors are hybrid tools sometimes called shavettes. They are shaped like a straight, but utilize replaceable blades, often DE blades you snap in half along the long axis. Here’s a Dovo shavette, a good razor I own and use:
As with DE razors, choose your blades wisely. Feather makes a hybrid along these lines that uses special blades, though I prefer the simplicity of using DE blades. After all, you can streamline your blade supply if you own this a Dovo shavette (red insert!) and a DE razor. Shavettes aren’t quite as nice as a first-class straight, but they’re a good compromise between versatility and pain-in-the-assery of maintenance.
* * *
Straights, especially true straights as opposed to shavettes, are not for everyone. I used a straight for a number of months before slipping back into a shavette for safety reasons, due to having young kids around. That, and I got tired of the maintenance work to keep it lightning sharp. I still use DE razors on occasion, but for anything longer than a few days' worth of stubble they’re prone to frequent clogging (as are modern cartridge razors), while a straight can handle any length of beard without a preliminary trim.
Still -- I encourage you to try one out at some point. Properly executed with equipment in good shape, using a straight for your morning shave reaches delights of comfort and ritual unmatched by any other shaving implement.
Option thr... Wait, what about electric razors?
Oh... and in closing, if you’re wondering why I didn’t discuss these? It would be a cop out to say ‘they suck’, ‘they take too damn long’, or even, ‘It feels like my beard is being yanked out by the roots.’ Cop outs, but nonetheless all true. Still, in keeping with our image-based approach, let’s have a gander at one last side-by-side image of magnified human hairs. One has been cut by a DE blade, the other an electric razor:
Gross.
One looks like the result of a fine piece of equipment directed by the concentrated power and knowledge of a human mind. The other looks like the tattered, pulpy remnants of First World War soldiers after enduring a massive artillery barrage.
I’ll leave it to you to guess which is which.
Shaving Perfection Part 1: The Problem
Shaving Perfection Part 2: Sharp Things